Saturday, July 16, 2011

Time. Time. Time.

When I knew I would be on maternity leave for 12 weeks, I had such a grand list of things I would take care of; painting rooms that still need to be painted, installing things that are just sitting in their boxes, unpacking the rest of the crap from our move a year ago, etc.  Here we are, week 8 of my time off and I have accomplished almost nothing from said list. How is it that I am home all day (most of the time) with just one little baby (who really usually does sleep about 4 hours a day) and I cannot manage to get anything done? I consider myself very lucky because I am home, but still get to send Belle to daycare AND still get to have cleaning people come every other week. Yet, I can't manage to get anything done. Could it be that those 4 hours of napping the little guy does are done in 15-20 minute increments which I try to use to eat, go to the bathroom, check the mail, get a drink, pump out the remainder of this milk?? I don't know.  I am now finding myself sitting here writing this, while he is sleeping and Belle is eating lunch and I am feeling guilty about taking 15 minutes to do this rather than something productive.  Why the incessant feeling of guilt?! Why do we, as mom's (and I suppose maybe dad's too) feel like we always have to be doing something? Why do we always have a lingering feeling of guilt if we take an hour to ourselves to just chill and watch TV or do absolutely nothing for once? And why isn't there more time in the day for us to veg for a few AND get stuff done AND spend adequate time with our children and spouses?

Moral of the story: I need more time.

1 comment:

TB said...

i read your post and swore i wrote it (except for having a little girl.... :)). mom guilt is strong my friend. repeat after me: i am a great mom. me time makes me an even greater mom. i am fabulous. i don't have to be busy every single moment.

take time for you! things around the house will ALWAYS get done at some point. life is not worth cramming it all in. your time home is to recover from labor/delivery, get to know george and do what you want to do :)

hang in there. i get it.